Have a Joyful time!

It is as traditional to wish you a happy Christmas, and move on knowingly, as it is to have the ‘hi, how are you?’ conversation. Not that I don’t for one second wish you anything less than good tidings! I am hoping for far more for all of us. Elf on the shelf is working overtime in my house!

All of us have nuances in our lives. It might be that someone is missing from your table this year, or it may be that finances are more squeezed. It may also be that family, for you is a difficulty in and of itself, just as it is for me. The idealised adverts of big happy families remind you of loss, not of joyful tidings. for survivors of abuse, particularly ritual abuse, there are many triggers to navigate at this time. Rarely do I find anyone who isn’t having to work fairly hard to meet the standard of ‘happiness’ that Christmas can demand. 

In our home, we are three. Paul, my daughter and, well all of our inner family. It has taken a while to work out how to authentically celebrate something that can bring so many losses keenly to the surface and bring so many triggers too. It is Alfie who has taught us about the supreme miracle of life, the absolute miraculous nature of our existence in a moment. He has taught us about the beauty of the stars and of a tiny seed growing. Taking this season to celebrate the people and relationships we have, at this moment, gives us a reason to authentically celebrate. 

We are enormously fortunate to have a life that provokes gratitude. People who surround us with their nuances, experiences and authenticity. We are rich in the people who surround us, we have laughter, curiosity, creativity, understanding and love. There may be many things missing from our Christmas table. There may even be flashbacks and difficulties along the way. We most certainly won’t live up to the Christmas adverts, though Pauls cooking could give them a run for their money! What we do have is a richness of understanding and authenticity from which honesty, playfulness and joy can come. 

So, I wish you a rich Christmas with whoever comes your way this year and for whatever reason you choose to celebrate it. Spending one day in the year celebrating the moments you have now, with anyone who walks with you, seems like a good idea.

Remembering those who are without and alone – it is one day, one moment, and if there is no one else to celebrate with you, you are important enough to celebrate yourself. It is easy to imagine behind all other doors is perfection! Often the greatest joy comes from celebrating the smallest things right in front of us.